Who are songs addressed to?
This isn't the first time I've written just because. In fact, I don't think there's such a thing as "writing just because." The very fact that I sat down to write this already denotes an intention, a "something", even if I don't yet know what it is.
If I'm honest with you (I still don't know who you are, I suppose we'll figure that out as we go) I think I've come here for all the wrong reasons. I am person of impulses, with a lot to say and at the same time nothing worth sharing. Or maybe — I do think it's worth it. Another thing entirely is whether I want to do it, or whether I actually will. How mysterious.
As I was saying, this isn't the first time I've written to someone. Years ago, I used to write to a diary, telling him (i have decided to treat it as a he) the things happening in my life in the corniest way possible. I'd tell it my problems, my worries, my smiles, and of course, my loves. And oh God, a tortured poet falls short next to the things I told my diary. I'd like to reach that kind of trust with you. I'd tell you the things I used to tell him — or rather, the things I never dared say to you out loud.
You see, I've never written a song, but I often wonder what it must feel like. Would it be similar to writing a story? I used to write short stories. Sad, overacted — can you even say that about a story? I don't know — and needlessly intense. God, I had no reason to write such gloomy things.
My point is, if I had to write a song, I wouldn't know who to write it for. My partner? I love her and she loves me, it should be easy. An ex? I'd have so much to say, even good things! A situationship? Those tend to make the best stories, they'd make a good song.
Or maybe I should dedicate it to you, since you are all and none of those people at once?
Either way, I don't play any instrument, nor do I think I have the ability to find melodies, so my song for you would be more of a story. Words sung but with nothing to make them a song. Someday we'll argue about what makes a song a song. I know you like to sing, and I like to talk to you.
Back to my song — another option would be to cover an existing song, take the melody and the instrumental, and lay my words on top. Would that count? Would you like it? What I do know is that it would be cheating: putting my words over something that isn't mine wouldn't make it mine. You see, I already know a lot about that, don't you think? I've always liked cheating.
I'm thinking maybe, if it's alright with you, I'll dedicate my songs to you (person I still don't know who you are). I promise you honesty, since I can't offer you melodies, you already know that. I just hope you won't get angry with me when my words surprise you, because the things I don't dare say out loud are the things I should have said at the time. Fair warning: I can be a little twisted sometimes, but I think you could already imagine that.
If not, why on earth was I talking to a diary instead of doing so with the girl I liked in school?
See you soon.